Friday, October 22, 2021
Greetings, Dear Friends –
I pray your souls are at peace and filled with the knowledge and joy of God’s amazing grace and love! I have heard from a few of you on how valuable our four-part series, “Am I Listening?,” has been for you, and you are implementing its practices in several areas of your daily lives! I am thrilled to know this, so thanks for sharing—and kudos to you! I’d like to take some time explore another facet of listening that Richard Nordquist (see source noted below) includes in his article (citing Martin Goetlieb), and then use it to tie in practically and according to Biblical principles. Let’s begin…!
We learned from our listening series that active listening is:
“the active process of receiving and responding to spoken (and sometimes unspoken) messages. It is one of the subjects studied in the field of language arts and in the discipline of conversation analysis.”
Included in the four elements of good listening are Gottlieb’s four levels of listening:
- Acknowledging
- Sympathizing
- Paraphrasing
- Empathizing
The best listeners, to Nordquist’s point, have the capacity to engage all levels simultaneously! These listeners are sincerely interested in what is being said and want to understand the speaker’s message. Think about one of the last conversations you were involved in—maybe one that did not go very well! Consider any possible barriers that could have hindered effective communication. Did you acknowledge the person was speaking to you, or were you multitasking or distracted by other concerns? Were you able to sympathize with the person you were listening to (or supposed to be listening to!)? Were you able to listen effectively in order to hear what the speaker was trying to express or communicate to you—so much so, that you were able to paraphrase what was said and repeat it back to them?
One of the things I like to say is something to the effect of: “To clarify, let me be sure I am hearing you correctly…what I heard you say is/was….” This, of course, gives the speaker the opportunity to correct anything we might have mis-heard—clearing the way to be completely engaged in the message (and at a deeper level).
How many of desire to be understood? Have often have we not paid attention—and not been fully present with someone? With all of life’s daily challenges, listening is critical; little things can quickly cause a conversation to go in the wrong direction! Sometimes, people’s lives or livelihood are at stake. I would even say that God can use our effective listening to improve or save someone else’s life. Have we ears to hear?
As we would expect, the pandemic and other national crises have increased the need for mental health services. In the article, “One Year In: COVID 19 and Mental Health,” by Dr. Joshua Gordon (April 9, 2021) notes the following:
“It seems that much of what we have learned from past disasters and epidemics is holding true in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic. Several surveys, including those collected by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), have shown substantial increases in self-reported behavioral health symptoms. According to one CDC report, which surveyed adults across the U.S. in late June of 2020, 31% of respondents reported symptoms of anxiety or depression, 13% reported having started or increased substance use, 26% reported stress-related symptoms, and 11% reported having serious thoughts of suicide in the past 30 days. These numbers are nearly double the rates we would have expected before the pandemic. As in prior studies, this survey showed that risk factors for reporting anxiety symptoms or suicidal ideation included food insufficiency, financial concerns, and loneliness.”
This article is just one of many that speak to the significant need for effective listeners. We can be each other’s sounding boards—helping each other stay sane!!! Seriously! I can only imagine how many times someone has had a change or heart, and chose life because they had someone to simply listen—acknowledging, sympathizing, paraphrasing, and empathizing. Listening can be life changing for the speaker and the listener!
Galatians 6:2 says:
“Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love]” (Amplified Bible).
Where would we be without each other? This is part of a beloved community. As we hear the cries of a newborn baby (whether we gave birth to them ourselves, birthed them through our hearts, or love them as proud aunts, uncles, Godparents, cousins, etc.), so too does God hear our cries. Having confessed our sins, the Lord listens when we speak . We, in turn, out of our love for Him, listen to others when they speak. We say, “I Hear You”. May we all be good, caring, listeners, who do so because we have ears to hear!
Until next time, My Friend,
Selah
Sources:
Nordquist, Richard. “The Definition of Listening and How to Do It Well.” ThoughtCo, Aug. 26, 2020, thoughtco.com/listening-communication-term-1691247.
Gordon, Joshua, M.D., Ph.D. Director’s Messages, “One Year In: COVID-19 and Mental Health,” April 9, 2021, www.nimh.nih.gov/.